Overcome Limiting Beliefs: A Step by Step Guide

I always tried to be the best mother I could even though I never knew how and one thing I thought I got right was not interfering in my children's life: not being a nagger.

My mother wasn't the nagging type, she hated it and on many occasions she would say to me, "Kristy Jayne, if I ever become like that just shoot me", yeah ok mum.

Mum wasn't the nagging type but she wasn't the communicating type either.

As a child I never thought about it but somehow grew up thinking that it was a good idea, I didn't want to be a nagger either, because that just wasn't a good thing, it would push people away.

I grew up with this belief in my head, not even knowing what nagging really was, how would I, my mum never did it.

Is it not telling someone what to do, how to do it, over and over?

I tried to communicate with my kids but I never really did, I had too much fear.

I didn't know how to say what I needed to or how to ask them about their life, I was too afraid because if I said the wrong things - they wouldn't like me, they would leave me.

My children grew up, moved out of home and started lives of their own but I forever felt something missing, there was always something within me that I knew I needed to heal and it had something to do with my children.

"if I say what I want, then they won't like me, they will leave me", how is that for a belief?

That was the belief I was carrying around with me my entire life and it was governing all areas of my life, and that's what beliefs do.

There are many beliefs that you will develop when you're young from the experiences you had, from interactions with others and all because you felt it was true at that time.

You didn't stop to evaluate if it were true or not or if there were other ways of seeing it, you just unconsciously accepted it and you adapted to it.

A child doesn't evaluate in the same way an adult can, everything is action and consequence and because we don't know any better we will just accept that we are the ones who are getting it wrong or I'm the problem or not worth it.

My mother unconsciously fed me this line for years not knowing that it was programming me into fearing communication and this is how history repeats through generations, but you can break that pattern.

We can become aware of our behaviours and desire to change them but the real work happens at the level of belief (thought).

Thoughts.......Emotions.......Behaviours

Stimulus - we see, hear, feel, smell something

Thoughts - thoughts pop into our head (we can be unaware of this)

Emotions - emotions come into our body (we are also unaware of this)

Behaviour - we react out of habit (unaware also)

We become aware of the behaviours and the need to change arises.

There is a simple way to move through and release the belief and when you do the behaviour disappears with it, I know that may be hard to believe but I have done it many times, even with obsessive behaviours.

Most of us tend to ignore our emotions and rely on our thoughts to tell us what is going on but thoughts are notorious for leading us astray.

We will feel emotions and if something doesn't feel good we interpret that as bad, the feelings help to give meaning but our thought meaning is only what our programming and conditioning tells us.

Learn to disconnect from thought and just feel

In all honest the exercise that I created to process limiting beliefs is not what I usually use, I followed other peoples methods of thought processes and tried it on myself and it worked.

My method and the one I have mainly used for 20 years is to simply just feel it.

Emotions are the link from the original experiences to the present moment and we don't have to talk or think too much to process our problems. I'll tell you how I processed the above belief and now am becoming better at communicating with my loved ones.

All done through allowing myself to feel what I need to.

All problems are different and have different triggers and some may take a little more time to come to light but allowing ourselves to go through the whole cycle of feeling it (1 - 2 mins) absolutely helps in dissolving limiting beliefs.